leading up to the great birth

Here I am, alone in my apartment all except for this sweet sleeping girl all curled up on my chest.  I like having her here with me.  I sit and picture her still inside my belly and wonder how she ever fit in there even though she only weighs one ounce more than her birth weight.  I waited so long for her to be here and now she is – it’s funny how that works.  I thought about who she was so many times, only having an inkling that she was in fact a she but while still in the womb she could have easily been a he and I would have never known the difference.  I think about the day she was born often and I feel blessed that it is such a rich and joyful memory to me.  There were many details of the labor and delivery I knew I couldn’t possibly have control over but I wanted everything to go a specific way.

The week leading up to the birth I lost all interest in talking to people in general.  I was getting tired of people looking at me like I was going to go into labor right in front of their eyes – all the while I myself was feeling no different than I did at month 7 (except for the growing belly).  I thought for sure I’d never go into labor and I didn’t want any more reminders that I was no closer that day then I was the day before (or at least that’s how I felt).  It was 4am on Sunday morning (the morning after the “super” full moon), March 20th, that I had my first contraction and by 11:00am when we were trying to decide about going into the hospital I finally felt as though this child was about to be born.  The bags had been packed and waiting for weeks (literally weeks).  The house virtually spotless because I always like a clean house when going away for longer than one evening and I had nested a week before the birth and finished everything with much time to spare. I never want to forget how I felt that day (well…  I’ll be fine to forget the pain).

Driving to the hospital while in active labor, hoping they wouldn’t send me home.  Not being able to find a close parking spot and instead walking further than desired with what seemed to be all the belongings you’d need for a weeks vacation.  Stopping in the hallways to make it though the contractions.  Sitting in Triage for two hours waiting for them to let me get to a room (and all I could think about was getting “comfortable” in the tub). Our amazing doula, Katie, arriving right when we got into our room.  The midwife hanging twinkle lights above my bed so I didn’t have to deal with the harsh hospital room lights.  Jordan holding my hand tightly during each contraction and forcing me to sip water in between.  Realizing I was going to be strong enough to go without medication for my new little baby.  Feeling Jolene move and hearing her good heartbeat throughout labor.  Being able to change positions and move around the room as my body felt the need to make a change and shift around.  Finally becoming aware that the midwife was going to let me start pushing and feeling like I was pushing for hours and hours (only to find out I only had to push for 48 minutes).  Knowing it was finally almost over when they let me touch the top of her head as she was crowning.  The songs on my play list that played during labor and birth. Oh – that feeling when she comes out and they lay her straight onto my belly.  Jordan announcing that she is a girl! Feeling more in love than ever before with my husband Jordan as I watch him be dad (he would prefer to be called pappy) to our little girl.

Man, I love him and I love her.  I’m feeling very blessed by my little family.   I just don’t want to forget a thing about this new life laying here on my chest.



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~ by Rejoy Photography on April 5, 2011.